ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
