I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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