Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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