I can text with my tongue
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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