she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
