If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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