Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
