yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
