If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just high enough for therapy.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
