i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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