:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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