Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend

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  (847): I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend http://tfl.nu/8y5y
  Replies (65) Good night (1473) Bad night (582)
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  (585): View more from New York

  the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please

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  (585): the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please http://tfl.nu/85bu
  Replies (38) Good night (942) Bad night (3391)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  well most of my day revolves around power hour

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  (856): well most of my day revolves around power hour http://tfl.nu/z7v2
  Replies (6) Good night (3293) Bad night (563)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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  (919): It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk. http://tfl.nu/1top
  Replies (18) Good night (5294) Bad night (911)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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  (219): surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on http://tfl.nu/a8g3
  Replies (9) Good night (3265) Bad night (1052)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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  (443): You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them. http://tfl.nu/l1v8
  Replies (2) Good night (1341) Bad night (574)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.

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  (502): I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever. http://tfl.nu/bzzy
  Replies (6) Good night (3888) Bad night (716)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.

  (801): View more from Utah

  Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.

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  (239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down. (801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible. http://tfl.nu/w6b2
  Replies (5) Good night (2214) Bad night (655)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.

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  (419): HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU. http://tfl.nu/87a2
  Replies (4) Good night (2238) Bad night (707)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.

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  (901): No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state. http://tfl.nu/kqwr
  Replies (8) Good night (1212) Bad night (429)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  who dressed up as a cop at your party???

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  idk I have to check. Why?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.

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  (724): who dressed up as a cop at your party??? (1-724): idk I have to check. Why? (724): he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM. http://tfl.nu/wn9a
  Replies (5) Good night (2502) Bad night (378)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car

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  (302): I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car http://tfl.nu/rca8
  Replies (6) Good night (249) Bad night (779)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Also the fuck cup must be buried with me

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  (305): Also the fuck cup must be buried with me http://tfl.nu/f60l
  Replies (2) Good night (368) Bad night (260)
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  (562): View more from California

  Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?

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  (562): Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream? http://tfl.nu/nras
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (218)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.

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  (860): You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/3rw4
  Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (217)

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