You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
my liver is dry heaving
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."