She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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