Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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