I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
