theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
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Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
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Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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