Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
