I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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