did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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