Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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