I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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