8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my mouth tastes like poor choices
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
