I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Vodka?
Forever.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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