Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
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I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.