im holly from the hills drunk
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes