So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
