dude i'm inner monologue high
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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