oh god the rape fog is back!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
