lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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