I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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