can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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