Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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