i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Who did Billy Mays play for?
well you can't waste a boner
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
