If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
