Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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