I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
