Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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