so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
