Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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