I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
