I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
