I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize