Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
