my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
