just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
