i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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