office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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