So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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