Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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