So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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