I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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