Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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