I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
