She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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