fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
4 words: hood of his car
i think i have two assholes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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