i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
