i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
