My first STD was from a foam party
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
