Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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