at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize