What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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