Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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