Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I could fuck to npr.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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