3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
